focus-ratings-mornoing newsGood morning...

I can't see any standout races in the ratings for tomorrow's meeting at Happy Valley but, nothing looks too wrong either.

The link for tomorrow's ratings at Happy Valley (top 3 rated) is... http://compassratings.com/data/compassratings-2020-05-06.pdf

The link for tomorrow's ratings at Happy Valley (all runners) is... http://compassratings.com/data/compassratings-full-2020-05-06.pdf

Lockdown in France

A few of you have asked how life is under lockdown in France...

Below is the form that I have to download and print out and fill out every time I want to go out.

I have to do that every time as I have to date and put the time in (and Tippex isn't allowed.)

I ran out of toner about a week ago and so I've been having to hand write that document once or twice a day - Amazon France have closed their distribution centers apart from essential food and health products - my toner had to come from Amazon Germany and took a week to arrive.

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Click on the image to see it a bit larger.

Everyone gets checked by the Gendarmes; you get fined if you don't have your liberty form properly filled in.

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Something to make you smile...

Married Men Only

Apparently in a small town somewhere in the USA there is a large factory that will only recruit married men.

One of the local women, one Brenda Davy, a feisty young lady, was angry about this and demanded to speak to the manager to find out why.

Brenda demanded to know, 'Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous.......or what?'

'Not at all, Ma'am,' the Factory Manager replied. 'It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them.'


A Scotsman, Irishman, and Englishman Story

A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone.

The Scotsman asks for a year's supply of whisky; it's given to him and he's locked away.

The Irishman asks for a year's supply of Guinness so he's locked up with several thousand bottles of it.

The Englishman asks for a year's supply of cigarettes and he's given a pile of cartons and the cell door is shut on him.

One year later, their doors are all unlocked.

The Scotsman staggers out and shouts, 'I'm free!' and then keels over dead from alcohol poisoning.

The Irishman is dragged out into the light, whereupon he promptly dies of liver failure.

When the door to the Englishman's cell is opened, everybody watches eagerly to see what sort of a wreck the man has made of himself.To their surprise, he walks right out the door, sidles up to the first person he sees, and asks, 'I say you wouldn't happen to have a match, would you?'


Two Little Boys...

Two little boys were arguing.

"My father is better than your father!"

"No he's not!"

"My brother is better than your brother!"

"No he's not!"

"My mother is better than your mother!"

The second boy paused. "Well I guess you've got me there. My father says the same thing."


In Fifty Years

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years' time.

The first said, "I would like my grandchildren to say 'He was great fun to be with.'"

"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want mine to say 'He was a loyal and loving family man.'"

Turning to the third man, they asked him, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"

"I want them to say," the third man replied, "He looks really good for his age!"


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Today

Whatever you are up to today...

Stay safe and healthy.

As always...

My kindest regards

keith-eckstein1

 

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