focus-ratings-mornoing newsGood morning...

We have 8 races at Happy Valley today.

I'm not going to try to suggest which ones we should be interested in as I'm still bogged down in data looking at Jockey strike rate and draw bias.

I'm also making great strides with making the ratings work for Australian racing.

It's funny; I thought I have enough of a job when we had GB and Irish racing...

Now that we don't, I find myself working three times as hard.

I'm not complaining though.

The link to today's Ratings (top three horses) in PDF format is...

The link to today's Ratings (all horses) in PDF format is...

Something to make you smile...

True love lasts forever...

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch.

He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.

He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.

‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’

‘This is incredible,’ said the man.

‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’

The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.

This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.

That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’

The man shakes his head.

‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

A Man Dies...

A man dies and ends up in hell. Satan shows up and walks him down a hallway, explaining that he would choose his torment from a selection of doors.

The first door opens up onto a vast expanse and millions of people standing on their heads on concrete. This doesn’t have much appeal so the man moves to the next door.

There he finds a similar scene but everyone is on their heads on rough hewn wooden floors. The man moved on as that looked worse.

The third door revealed a vast chasm with far fewer people, all of whom are knee deep in sh#t drinking coffee. The man thinks to himself that he could get used to the smell and hey, free coffee, so he chooses that door.

He gets settled in with his cup and his personal plot of shit and starts to relax a bit, when suddenly an inhuman voice booms through the area, “Alright everyone, break’s over, back on your heads!”

A Princess with 3 Suitors....

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors’ love.

She summoned all three suitors to the grand hall and announced – “whoever brings me the most ping pong balls shall have my hand in marriage – this is my test of love!” Each suitor goes off to meet the challenge.

The first suitor comes back a few weeks later with loads and loads of horse drawn carriages filled with ping pong balls. The convoy stretches as far as the eye can see. All together they amount to 1 million ping pong balls and the princess is impressed.

The second suitor realises he has to up his game and hires a fleet of ships to gather deliver the ping pong balls. A few months later ships upon ships line the harbour in front of the princess’ castle, and the princess swoons at the sight of 100 million ping pong balls being offered to her.

The third and final suitor then shows up a year later. He’s all bloodied and beaten up, horrible scars across his arms. In his left hand he clutches a big brown heavy sack. The princess confronts him, clearly unimpressed and says “what are you doing!? Clearly this can’t beat the 100 million ping pong balls I had from my second suitor! Stop wasting my time!”

Confused, the third suitor says to the princess as she turns to leave “but my princess, I thought you said KING KONG balls!!”


Whatever you are up to today...

Stay safe and healthy.

As always...

My kindest regards



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