focus-ratings-mornoing newsGood morning...

My local bank re-opens today...

I can go in and pay all my bills...

I never thought that I'd be so happy to be able to go to the bank and pay my bills!

How things have changed since lockdown.

Yesterday I saw 2 mothers (and their kids) meet in in the market square.

It must have been school chucking out time.

They did the normal thing and everyone kissed everyone else on the cheeks.

Then they must have remembered that they weren't allowed to do that,

And they all looked round in a guilty fashion (even the kids), as though they'd just done a drugs deal.

To see if anyone had spotted them.

How things have changed since lockdown.

Compass Ratings

The link to tomorrow's ratings (top 3 rated) for Happy Valley is here...

The link to tomorrow's ratings (all horses) for Happy Valley is here...

Spotlight Ratings

There aren't any decent international races for me to rate for today.

I'll keep my eyes open to see if anything pops up for tomorrow (nothing so far - apart from the Hong Kong races which I've already rated.)

I really need to find a site which shows me international racing in advance.

Something to make you smile...

Lonely on the farm

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress.

He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.

Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door.

He opens it and there is a big, bearded Alaskan standing there.

"Name's Enoch... Your neighbour from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Damn", Sam thinks... "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?"

Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."

A drunk old Irish man told me this one...

A man, a pig and his dog are marooned on a deserted island.

After a couple of months in isolation the man becomes lonely and begins getting ideas about the pig.

But every time he tries it on with the pig, the dog would start biting his leg and barking at him.

One day the man spots a beautiful woman floating on a raft out in the sea.

He swims out as fast as he can and rescues her, and brings her onshore.

The woman is overwhelmed with gratitude for him and says... "Thank you for saving me, I will do anything you want." .

With a cheeky glint in his eye, delighted with this offer, the man eagerly says...

"Brilliant! You see that dog? Go take him for a feckin walk."

Used Clothing...

Wife: I have a bag full of dirty & used clothing I'd like to donate....!

Husband: Why not just throw these in the trash? That's much easier for you.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes with basket full satisfaction.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.







Whatever you are up to today...

Stay safe and healthy.

As always...

My kindest regards



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